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ACT RESLILIENT

act resilient

There is a saying that the first casualty of war is innocence. If that is true, then the path to making warriors whole again involves reclaiming and restoring an important element of innocence which is a basic enthusiasm for life.   Enthusiasm for life or optimism is a great method to restore resilience and happiness. As a returning warrior, the sooner you can connect to your enthusiasm for life the sooner you will recover and feel whole again.
Where do you store your memories?
It is not simply circumstances that cause trauma. It is how those traumas are filed in the brain. We can’t undo what we know or have seen and experienced, but we can control how those memories “sit” in our brains. Are they stored in a file called: “I did the best I could under the circumstances”? If they are, then those memories form some of the texture of our character. In a way these memories feed us with the wisdom of experience.
But if those same memories are stored in a file called “I didn’t do well,” or “I performed badly,” or “I should have done more,” then those memories can haunt us. Then we start walking around as if we have Zombie Brains. Zombie Brains are filled with incomplete or broken memory chains. The memories keep replaying in an effort to close a loop or be fixed. Whether a memory is stored in a part of the brain where it can “rest” or in a part of the Zombie Brain where it replays constantly, depends on how and where it is filed.
Feelings of guilt can cause a loop in the brain to be created where thoughts on a certain topic cycle around and around. This is because the brain doesn’t feel finished with this situation and keeps trying to go back to get it right. You have to teach your brain to let go. The Zombie Brain doesn’t always know what is the past. Sometimes it has be shown where to file events, so it can rest.
We have seen that two people can go through the same set of experiences and have different reactions. This has nothing to do with being a good or bad person, or with being brave. It has to do with a faulty filing system. One person can go through a very scary or horrific event and come out saying: “Wow, that was intense! What an adventure!” And the next person going through the exact same experience comes out saying: “I was a coward,” or “I should have done it better.”
Your Zombie Brain
PTSD is a form of inner mental torture. The recurring guilt, thoughts, fears, and other feelings don’t let you rest. They disturb your sleeping and waking thoughts. These are like zombies of the mind. They don’t know they are done, so they keep wandering around, trying to steal your attention. They are searching for a sense of closure, but the traumatized brain is bruised and tired and has run out of RAM and so has trouble getting closure.
You’ve Suffered Enough!
The Act Resilient Training Program teaches students how to get closure through learning how to re-store memories. This doesn’t mean forgetting. You can’t and shouldn’t forget something that is signifcant. But you can learn to store those memories in a mental compartment that doesn’t cause you any further suffering. It is enough to have suffered from the events. You don’t need to re-suffer every day.
Many military people come home carrying a heavy load. The boots may be on the ground, but it as if they haven’t fully arrived. The body is back, but important parts of the soul may have been left downrange. Once this is recognized, you can begin to literally pu yourself back together and burry your zombie brain.
You Must be Present to Win
Zombie Brains feed on the past. So you need to stop feeding your zombie brain. The best way to do this is to literally come into present time and connect with the people and things around you right now. As best you can, connect with the people who are here today, even if you don’t always feel like it. No matter what is going on inside, do your best to “Love the ones you’re with.” This will help draw you like a magnet into present time. We can only enjoy life if we are in present time, not haunted or hanging out in the past. As the saying goes, you must be present to win -- at life.
Feeling like a Foreigner in Your Own Home
Human beings are pack animals. They like being connected to others. When you are downrange, you may have had such a tightly knit connection with your battle buddy and your unit – it is such a deep bond – forged in the daily reality of life and death.
Then when you return to garrison, even though you may love your family, it is hard to replace that kind of connection and return to civilian relationships.   The routines of everyday life may feel confusing, foreign, trivial, and bizarre. It may be hard to fit back in – even with your own family. You may feel like you don’t belong. Or you may think they don’t need you or that they did fine without you. You may feel like a foreigner in your own home, and it sounds like everyone is speaking some other language – even if they are using English words.
This is normal.
Many returning warriors feel this. It is normal to feel this because you have been living in a different reality. You are not alone if you are having these feelings. It helps if your loved ones understand that your body may be home, but not all of you has arrived yet. It makes it easier if they recognize that you are not fully back online yet. Take it slowly, take small steps. Re-entry is a process!
The Love Alphabet Game.
Want a quick lift? Play the Love Alphabet Game. You can do it inside your head where nobody can hear you, or out loud with a friend or loved one, or with your children if they are old enough to know the alphabet.   To play the Love Alphabet game you make a list of all kinds of things you love, starting with each letter of the alphabet (okay, you can skip the infrequent letters Q,X,Y,Z)   The idea is to break the pattern of negative thoughts by replacing them with positive thoughts and feelings. It is like distracting a child from playing with something dangerous by replacing their attention with a fun toy.
So the game might go like this” “A – I love apples. B - I love baseball. C- I love cats. D - I love dessert.” And so on until you get to the end of the alphabet. Chances are you will feel better by the end -- if you allow yourself to really connect to the words you are saying. Feel your love for each item. If not, repeat it and do a second round. Keep saying the words “I love…” each time. It builds your love muscle! And it builds the energy and good feelings. If you really can’t feel love for anything, start with “I like...” Or “I’m grateful for ....” Do it everyday. Do it a couple of times a day if you are having a bad day. I know its a simple little game, but it works, and it’s cheaper than alcohoI. I promise you it has worked for EVERY student I have given it to who did it for 30 days.
Focus on Who and What You Love
Put your attention on the people, places, things and activities you enjoy and love. This takes you out of your internal state and gets you reconnected with people and activities that are meaningful to you. It doesn’t happen overnight. But it does work! I promise.
When you re-connect to anyone and anything you love, this is your life line. Because Love heals! This will help you come back into your body and into your life! Be patient. You’ll get here.
Thank You.
Thank you. Thank you…. In case no one has said that to you! Thank you!
Genie Joseph, M.A.

Your Zombie Brain

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

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